Titles: the sticky tired long goodnight

I was just coming up for air and as I floated on the surface of the dark ocean of my life at one thirty AM, I felt the desire to put myself to sleep with a post.  Blogger has re-jiggered it's look and has my page views displayed at the opening page, and I was incredulous to read a number over three thousand for all-time page views.  That seems grossly above what I should be getting for page views, since as far as I can tell I have about nine mostly anonymous friends who check occasionally to see if I've posted anything new six of whom are followers who know when I do.  Perhaps there are several page views per visitor or something.  I'm not sure how I'd feel if thousands of people read my blog.  befuddled, I guess.  Perhaps honored.

For some reason summer is ramping up my activity level.  It's been low to medium for a while, but all of a sudden I'm quite busy.  I don't prefer having to use a calendar/organizer to keep track of meetings and jobs, but it is nice to be busy with good work.

Thinking about names for my new blog... Something that conveys the jist of what I like to write, which is honest, beautiful, dirty, humorous, uncensored, informal, straightforward, and heartfelt.  "eloquent dicks"?  Also I guess I have to make sure the name is available, which is tricky.  Also I have to decide if I want myself traceable to it. It would be lovely to have the freedom of anonymity to write under.  I think I'd like it to be publicly accessible and anonymous, perhaps I'd let readers of this know about it, except anyone who's my  facebook friend could read it then.  I'd like to be able to make it personal, which means people I know should, for the most part, not know about it.  So I probably won't post the actual name here.  Just brainstorm.

open entry
the elegant rantings of a perverted hermit
death and bugs  (I think someone else has prior claim to that one :)
The Way Back Down (and sub title: penis penis penis penis)
Bathing Suit Flying Dreams
The only choice left
Gratitude for the moment: an assortment of erotic parables
Uncensored: life inside an unusual mind
The fantastic, erotic and scandalous life of Mr X
in search the nameless perfection my heart alone knows
the mad rantings of a strange pornographic spiritual crustacean


ok, time for bed.

Old posts, fuzzy slippers, a new name?

When I read posts from my friends blogs, it makes me want to write posts. Goddanm, they're so fucking interesting. So's it makes me want to give that back.

It makes me warm and fuzzing thinking I may be making someone else feel warm and amongst friends telling storys and sharing pieces of writing on a snowy winter day with a cup of hot chocolate and fuzzy slippers. Which is maybe a bit like how I feel reading friends posts sometimes.

Anyways, I'm going through my old posts, spell checking and posting old drafts that never got published. And maybe there will be some new ones. Though honestly, it may be time for a new blog name. I think the old one doesn't fit any more. I feel like I've graduated or something.

100+

Found this in my documents folder and thought I'd share. I don't know if these things are causal or just symptomatic (meaning just because people who live to 100 do these things, doesn't necessarily mean you'll live longer if you do them.) but it couldn't hurt.

I'm not sure where I got this from but I think it was an Ayurveda article from the raj.

The nine common factors of living to over a hundred from "The Blue Zones"

1. Stop Eating......when you're 80 percent full. Using smaller, 10-inch plates can help with this habit, as can serving meals in discrete portions instead of buffet-style.



2. Dine on Plants. Eat more veggies, and less meat and processed foods. A balance of healthful fats (such as those found in nuts); a variety of vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants; whole grains (quinoa, brown rice, etc.); quality protein (found in beans and lentils); and high-nutrient foods will leave you with stable energy levels and contribute to healthy body weight. Avoid buying junk food, or put it on hard-to-reach shelves, and cook your own meals whenever possible to avoid fast foods.

3. Keep Moving. Find ways to move naturally, such as walking, gardening, using fewer labor-saving devices. Get a pedometer to keep track of your activity. Many physicians recommend a minimum of 10,000 steps a day. And of course, as any yogi knows, nothing keeps you young like a daily dose of spine-twisting yoga asanas.



4. Slow Down. Balance work and rest, take vacations regularly, don’t overschedule yourself. In other words, stress less.

5. Drink Red Wine. People in most Blue Zone communities drank red wine consistently, but in moderation. The antioxidants in wine are powerful disease fighters; if you don’t want to drink wine, organic grape juice or other fresh juices high in antioxidants are a good substitute.

6. Find Purpose. And pursue it with passion. Having a purpose of life keeps you engaged, vital, and young at heart. Your body will reflect these qualities too.



7. Join a group. Create a healthy social network. People with strong social support groups are known to live longer and they navigate life’s ups and downs better.



8. Feed your soul. Engage in spiritual activities, which bring deeper meaning to your life. This doesn’t necessarily mean religious activities, even a walk in nature can be a spiritual activity, as long as it helps broaden your perspective and connect you with the wider cosmos we are a part of.



9. Love your tribe. Make family and community a high priority.

Firefly

May 18th, 8:35pm

First firefly of the season spotted.

I stand very still, almost not breathing, watching inside myself like an ancient hunter stalking a rabbit.

I stalk my heart, my pain, and the motions of my mind. My attention is rapt, hoping to kill, to love, to end the tortured life of the hurt inside me.

Only attention will do it, so I pay rapt attention. I listen to the feelings going through my heart like my life depended on it.

Because there's nothing else to do, and I'm tired of doing nothing.

Sometimes, little flecks of light drift out of my heart, like dandelion seeds blown on an unknown wind, like fireflies searching for a home. Touching down on random objects; sunsets, a finger, a big white wolf-dog, a piece of seaweed,

they impregnate the world with love.

I'd like that to happen more often.

Secret Posts

I haven't stopped writing by the way. I've got around ten to fifteen posts, that are still in draft form, that I'm just reticent to post. I can't remember why. Recently I've just been writing them in my journal because they don't seem fit for public consumption. Maybe I'll do something about that. Maybe not. Here are some trinkets, for now:

I'm going to bed really late, consecutively. That plus starting to work out more regularly = tired Isaac.

I have a girlfriend. Yay! How many posts have I complained about not being able to get a girlfriend? How many conversations? How many times have I tried, unsuccessfully, to just get rid of this desire so I didn't have to be so dissatisfied with myself? I feel like I'm out of character. I feel like I'm going to get letters to my script writers from angry, single fans who related to me and are mad that I'm gettin' some while they're still single and socially dysfunctional with relationships (jury's still out on my social disfunction. Give it a few months to shake out.)

Geoffrey Baker died recently. He was a wonderful, wonderful human being, hilarious and truthful and unique. Many people's lives will be poorer for his passing, but they're lives are richer still for having known him. Death may keep assholes from being king for too long, but it also keeps cool people from staying around forever.

Death and life have become more real for me. My emotions have become more real for me.

Still trying to figure out what to do, what new goal I should pursue, since Waking Up nuked my previous ambitions and entire paradigm of seeking. Currently I know one fundamental quality that is worth pursuing: Love. To elaborate, currently, I am pursuing my deep heart satisfaction and fulfillment, looking for a heart full of love and hopefully joy, though I think my vision of permanent happiness is a figment of my imagination. Not that it doesn't exist at all, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist how I picture it.

Hmm, it now occurs to me that my motto since high-school was "Truth, Love, Laughter." I didn't realize I might have been prophetic with the order.

The nugget of wisdom the universe gave me for today:

it's relatively easy to come into contact with your true nature, the Self, and recognize it. I'm confident that with most people who are sincerely interested, I could help them find it in an hour or two, and if they're open, five minutes. But the trick is living from there permanently.

Apparently, for that to happen, "...the mind must immolate itself in total surrender to the deep undifferentiated state; to the Divine."

Sounds right.

Rock n' Roll

-I

Choke

I choke on my own spittle periodically. I wonder if that's like reverse drooling. Stealth drooling. Dangerous though because if you actually start choking, it's way more conspicuous.

Peanut Butter

08/14/08

That's the expiration date of the peanut butter my aunt found somewhere in the house. It has been opened previously. When my aunt heard the expiration date she said in a surprised and frightened voice, to throw it out. However, I was curious, what three to five year old peanut butter looked like, so I opened it up. Knife marks. No mold. As smooth and brown as the day it was made. I think I have to try eating it. First, because peanut butter is awesome. It shouldn't be wasted if it can be eaten. Second, because how else will I know if peanut butter keeps for two and a half years otherwise. Tomorrow, I begin the experiment.