upon further reflection, I think the solution to all these questions is simply to listen to my heart as the situation comes. No hard fast rules. Those are useful as training wheels, but the goal I am moving towards is to be able to hear and respect the voice of wisdom within me. No "sex is bad" or "sex is good" or anything else, for that matter. What is the appropriate response in the moment. That is the answer.
And that is a matter of sensitivity and working through all the issues that keeps us from being in constant contact with that inner voice, and doubting it or fearing it or not trusting it.
And that, I'm sure, is true Tantra.
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