The ultimate secret of all fad diets

I'm going to save you a lot of time trying out different crazy diets and give you the drop of truth behind the mountain of bull shit.  OK, here goes:

Don't eat lots of any one thing.
Eat lots of different things.
Avoid processed foods.
Eat lots of plants.
If you need to add extra flavor to make it not taste repulsive then don't eat it.

OK?  That's it.  You want a good diet, there it is.  If you really want to get finicky some things that may have a hard to measure additional benefit:

Avoid weird chemicals (that's partially covered in not eating processed foods, but also means you avoid things with chemicals sprayed on or injected into them.)
Eat stuff as fresh as you can get it.

And to sum it all up in one simple concept: eat like a crazy forest hermit.

Elaboration:  eat like nature intended us to eat.  That's quite variable if you look at different 'primitive' peoples.  Extremely variable, depending on the environment.  But if you can understand and apply this principle in a non-insane way, you don't need any of the others.

There.  Now for god's sake stop giving people money to tell you fractions of this over the course of weeks and months and years and spend that time and money eating good food.

Me right now = James Bond + Cookie Monster

I just ate a whole bunch of chocolate chip cookies that I just baked instead of dinner, and for lunch I had the huge stir-fry with quinoa I made, plus three almost whole, fried Smelt (since we were learning about candle-fish in class, and how to clean fish) and I feel sick now, and have a head-ache from too much staring at the glowing screen in front of me.

I regret nothing.

(said with the same intonation as a secret agent being tortured for information, refusing to crack.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9rzMaAucI4

Sometimes, I have sex with you, when your not looking.

sometimes I fall in love with someone from a few words, from the inflection of the voice, from an anecdote or two.

sometimes, my heart burns, literally burns in my chest, like it's on fire, like I'm on fire. Like tonight. I want to do something with this person. I want to have sex with them and marry them and be with them always. Right now. and I am blocked from doing so. and it burns like an inferno consuming me.

now, I've found at least the beginning of a solution. It started with me realizing that the one blocking me from having what I wanted was me, and by the same token, I could let myself have what I wanted. So now, when my heart burns and my spirit lusts for a dream of a girl I want utterly, I let myself have her, have it, and I make fabulous love with the patterns of light and feeling that are her body. It is desperate need fulfilled, and it feels a little bit like masturbation, in that I worry I won't pursue actual women, because if I want them I can just have them, immediately and unreservedly.

But that's not exactly how it works.

though it is partially.

I will no longer pursue woman based on a feeling of fundamental lack that I think they can fulfil. I will no longer pursue ideas of women that I have become infatuated with, taping paper masks to strangers faces and falling in love with my crudely drawn images.

Because those are things that they cannot give me, and they are things that I can give myself.

I'm not sure I can accurately describe the reason I would pursue women now. not because it is complex but because it is simple, too simple for words. Because i want to, because it is right.

I made deviled eggs today, and ate a few, and I just farted and it smelled like eggs.

also, later this evening, I made rice pudding.

this makes me very happy.