Tuesday, September 25, 2012

"I want to see panda porn.  It would be great because they'd be so reluctant."

(if this doesn't make sense, additional information: pandas, especially in captivity, but even in the wild, are going extinct as a species because for some reason they don't want to have sex any more.)

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Conversation Fragment

"...ok, I'll wear the wig next time they're all over, but they can't take any pictures, and I have to wear my bathrobe as well.  That will be awesome"

"nooooo. you can only wear the bathrobe around them if you're decent underneath it."

(thinks for a moment) "yeah, I'm pretty decent.  I work out you know...."

Thursday, September 20, 2012


Talking-to: "You spanked mah pigs, boy, and nows yer gonna get a talking-to like you wouldn't believe."
Talking-tos: "Those pigs all need talking-tos, if you ask me."
Talking-to's: "Those are Grandpa Talking-to's pigs boy,"
Talkings-to: "and its talkings-to, not talking-tos."
Its:  "no pa, the American Heritage Dictionary says its talking-tos.  Also, you mean it's, not its, it's means it is, its is a possessive pronoun"

(pig shit fight ensues)

[this is what happens sometimes when I try to learn grammar.]