a shorter post.

maybe I can write a short post if I do it in poetry.

It's a dark night and a glaring fluorescent light

daemons clutch at my throat and heart

and dark whispers of my insufficiency make my body heavy as lead

it's hard to move

But I move.

It gets easier once I start.

Facing the feelings of sadness and fear in my heart

It's almost enough to exalt. It's more than enough

and I dance in the harsh darkness of my midnight

and I dance with my hatred, tearing at my weak body

I am morning the death of myself and everything I wanted to be.

I love screaming in pain because I've got so much pain to scream

Like a baby, but the crying is the milk. My tears fill my soul as I dance to the rhythm of a bleeding heart

Call me emo and go fuck yourself, I rest from my daemon dance in euphoria. There's no daemon here but me and he stops being a daemon as soon as the duck tape is ripped off his mouth and he is allowed to sing his truth.

I'm panting. It's done, the dark tattered robes dissolve and with a white sound of wings he's gone. The next one in line steps up.

Never look at how long the line is. Never look down when climbing a cliff. Never think of the future when your being tortured. Never look at another woman when your dancing with one.

This moment, I am ok. I can do this. I always have, I always will. But only this moment.

I am proud of myself. Face the next challenge. Learn the next lesson, take the next step. No hero, no matter how big or small, can ask for more.

It's been a long time for me, but for this moment, I remember what it feels like to love the universe, exactly as it is.

thank you.