I'm tired

it's been a busy week. lots of adventures. but I'm not going to tell you them now, because I want to sleep 40 minutes ago.

instead I will say what is on my mind:

I'm tired of reading/hearing advice from people who have not lived what they suggest. People like me. it pisses me off. And they even want to make money off of there unproven ideas. It's akin to people who go up to directors and say, "hey I have this great script idea" (why don't you do all the hard work of turning it into a movie and then give me money if it's a success).

This is why I don't give people advice, unless they directly ask me for it. This is why this blog is not an advice column. It is a diary, a journal, of my attempts to live well. it is a relatively spotty, incomplete journal. perhaps I'll do something about that. frankly, I'm busy learning and living now, so that takes precedence for me.

I'm in a hurry. I want to get to a place of experience, somewhere that can really be deeply useful to the world. Some way of living that feels worthwhile. Any time I spend "teaching" before I get there is just fearful stalling via public masturbation. Sometimes I have conversations that could look like teaching, but I don't seek them out. It's just someone nature pushed in front of me because I have a bit of experience that would be useful to share with them. And I'm grateful for an opportunity to give, and to learn myself, because if I fail to learn at least as much as the person I'm helping, then I've been an unmindful student. Everyone and everything has things to teach you. And you know they have something to teach you right now when they show up in front of you.

Grandfather says, they best teacher always learns more than the student.

The lesson for today is:

what decides whether you have energy or are tired?